"By all means, come for me. However, I just might go with you and I do not travel light." Chioma Onwudiwe
I met 'A' and 'B', at about the same time. A slight and temporary business arrangement, would cause our unlikely parts to cross. They were both of a different race, age, culture, exposure and personality from me and from themselves. I was cordial and professional. And endeavored to deal with both women, kindly and with fairness. At first, both responded to my graciousness with surprise and gratitude. Often expressing, that if they were me. They would be more aloof and stuck-up. They would work everything they had, with an attitude.
'A' told me she appreciated my personality, talents and creativity. She strongly believed, that there was no end to what I could do and become. It may have been easy for her to say, because I was extremely helpful to her and resourceful to the partnership. 'A' went ahead, to indulge me with childhood tales of a tumultuous relationship with her mother. An envious and quarrelsome existence, with her siblings. That moved on later, to what she deemed an inconsequential and loveless marriage. A union, which she admitted to manipulatively crafting into existence. Those were her exact words and description, not mine.
As time went on and our paths crossed more often, I noticed that 'A', never had anything nice to say about anyone. The sneer, slight and/or slander, never came out provoked, loud or combative. Yet somehow, she would manage to slip it/them, into even the most mundane of conversations. There was always a vilifying, accusatory and/or maligning thought or word, about anyone or everyone. Even after you had seen her with the person and they seemed really good and pleasant to her. An example, was one particular family member of hers. It appeared this relative, always got on her nerve. She complained about them incessantly, which got me wondering, what they had done to wound her so.
I did not have to ponder for long, because on three different occasions. I happened to witness the loathed one, do something for 'A' that she obviously needed. They even went ahead to add an extra treat, just because. Yet when I expressed how sweet and thoughtful 'A's family member’s actions and gifts to her were. She was highly offended! Her reason in not so many words, was for me to go by what she said about the person and not what I noticed or experienced. Not even when her words and interpretation, were starkly opposite to what the person was doing and why they did it. Or when it was obvious, that you had just observed a kind and concerned gesture from the other person to 'A'.
It finally dawned on me, maybe a tad bit too late! 'A' lived behind a hateful, self-serving and delusional castle. Whose walls were built with plain lies, devious fabrications and devastating manipulation. In other words 'A' felt good and in control, when everyone else looked bad, felt horrible and were at logger-heads with each other. She thrived in chaos, calamity and confusion. Something quickly came to mind, when 'A’s mean walls began to unravel and be exposed to me. She had mentioned sometime earlier, that she had a sister who went ahead to make a living with a singing profession. It turned out, that 'A' could carry some tune also. But according to 'A', their mother who was a single parent for most of their life. Invested in 'A’s sister, to pursue her singing career. The mother believed that was the better and more convincing choice.
Other family members (who sang somewhat), agreed that the mother’s decision was right. Her sister was said to be cuter and had a more engaging and charming personality. Therefore, whenever 'A' hung around me. She wanted me to sing. Then when I did sing, she wanted to sing not just along, but exactly like me. It was fun and harmless. Until one day, I did a piece that not only could 'A' not come close to hitting the notes or duplicating the inflection. Which made it clear, that I was still exclusively me. The woman then instantly turned on me! Exhibiting a ferocious vengeance, of a wolf that had been robbed of its pup. 'A' now believed, that if she could not be me or do me. Then she would have to bring or beat me down, to even remotely feel good.
Enter 'B', again 'A' had known 'B' long before I came into the picture. They actually deeply despised each other. 'A' would easily and quickly list all the ways, that 'B' was bad and horrible. Though she never did or said anything, in front of her subject. Then in return, 'B' would passive aggressively. Make life difficult for 'A' any time and way, that she could. When one was around both women, you could easily slice their enmity for each other with a blunt bread knife. However, due to some economical and technical necessities. They continued to deal and operate, with each other.
Though 'A' was of diminutive stature, an unstable and dependent disposition. Her seemingly un-threatening appearance, was the ultimate deception. She was a very crafty and oppressive bully. In fact, she often hid behind her size and disposition, to commit her most destructive and devastating atrocities. Her harmful and hurtful deeds, were much taller and larger than her size would let on. I could tell from the way 'B' reacted around 'A', that she was a victim of the bully’s repression.
And here is where my story finally begins. The 7,000 words prior to this, was just an introduction. Having been a victim of relational, corporation-al, organizational and personal bullies, I don’t like them. Even though they camouflage their insecurities, shortcomings, longings, yearnings, failures and anger with a cause or a demand. Meanwhile, the real issue of their deep seated rage, is as prolonged as it is un-dealt with. Everyone and thing, that remotely looks like, sounds like, achieves like or lives like what they want or wanted. Becomes target for a vicious and savage assault and subsequent bombardment. That unfortunate person, who would cross their path. Howbeit unintentionally or innocently, is fodder for a hell instigated unleash.
I felt sorry for and reached out to 'B', with compassion (Now I wish I didn’t)! It appeared that she too, had her mountains of insecurities and distorted applications of the ‘blame game’. You know the concept; that it was everyone else’s fault, that they were chronically unhappy. Even though they refuse to make the most of, or apply the life before them. I remained empathetic, for I knew that the burden instilled by a bully. Had the potential to be distracting and disturbing.
For a minute, 'B' received and cherished my kindness. Getting so comfortable, that she began to assume. That taking on my persona and being me, would absolve her of any responsibility for her life. Therefore, she began to emulate my actions and decisions, in a very eerie way. It was almost as if she never was, before I met her. She stalked and followed me, anytime I was in the neighborhood. Hanging outside, sometimes for hours. Not to talk or say hello to me, but to watch and channel me. I got spooked and ran for my life, literally. That again was an un-welcomed move, that caused 'B' to bare some ugly and disruptive teeth.
Then 'B' got together, with 'A'. Their Mission: To get me, to live for them. In other words, I was expected to spend each waking day of my life. Making sure they knew what I was doing, so they would do the same. They would now live vicariously through me, while feeding off the rewards of my efforts. For example, since they were both self-centered and self-preserving. Forming any sort of genuine relationship, required an amount of time and self investment. Those elements of authenticity and transparency, were too costly for 'A' and 'B' to risk. They were all about themselves, what they needed, wanted and could get from others.
When people came around me, because of something I had done for them. Or how I made them feel and un-feel, whatever the case may be. Scheming 'A' and sneaky 'B', wanted to be a part of that forcefully. As long as it came, at no cost to them. I thought that was a presumptive pile of crap. They thought it was either they had my life, or I lost it. They have both united, in a bid to devour me and the essence of me. They are partners in pilfered possessions. Don’t get it twisted, they still hate each other. However, for the purposes of an illegal slice and chunk of me, they are bonded. And I folks, am still on the run.
