CHIOMA
ONWUDIWE
Actor, Writer/Poet, Singer, Model
New York City
Mirror,Mirror....
(A Column of Comic Reflections)
Go ahead and grab a 'smiley', or a laugh!
Present day Inquirer: "Hey Mirror Mirror online. What do you think? I bought this firming tape, to tighten my skin. The instruction says to use liberal-ly. But I feel that a loose application, would defeat the purpose. So I am thinking of using bits of it. You know, to conserve the elasticity. Just like...."
There's an interruption on the screen. And the Inquirer leans forward, to inspect it.
Inquirer: "Wait a minute! What's this I see? Mirror? Mirror?! Hello!!! What are you doing? I can't see my face.... What is going on?!"
Cries the Inquirer, in shocked frustration.😢
The screen goes black and a word floats across it. #CENSORED
Inquirer: In utter dismay. "Why?! Was it something I said?...."🤷♀️
The Inquirer: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of us all?"
The MIRROR: "I don't know. Whomever, won't break my glass, when I tell them the truth."
The Inquirer: "Mirror, Mirror. What is my best angle?"
The MIRROR: "With or without the contouring?"
The Inquirer: "Mirror, Mirror can you post a picture of the finest of us?"
The MIRROR: "Only if you promise to 'like' the outcome, no matter what."
The Inquirer: Mirror, Mirror on the wall. For real, who is the finest of us all?
The MIRROR: For real? That's a hard one. Between the snip, snap, fill, stash and paint. Y'all beginning to look alike anyway.
You are next!!
The Observer: "What?! I don't look like this. This can't really be me."
The MIRROR: "Of course not. It's just a reflection of you."
The Inquirer: Why is my expression always frozen?
The MIRROR: Why is Botox always chosen?
The Observer: "Wow, looks like I am glowing. What do you think MIRROR?
The MIRROR: "Looks like your highlights mixed up with your sweat.
The Observer: "Wow! No lines, wrinkles or pores. I look great."
The MIRROR: "Good to know, that my filter is in full throttle."
The Observer: "(Gleefully) "It appears, that I lost some weight. I look a whole lot smaller than before."
The MIRROR: "Ermm.... Not so fast now. That's only half of you. Image is still uploading."
The Complainer: "(Sighs in distress) I have so much 'work' that needs to be done. I need to tighten, lift, tuck and then...."
The MIRROR: "(Interrupting) Can it all be listed, in a 140 characters or less please?"
The Observer: "Awww.... This is just so cool. It looks like I am actually aging backwards."
The MIRROR: "This may sound so cruel. But it's actually 'flashback Friday'."
The Inquirer: "JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME. Do you think I got a good deal, for the 'new face'?"
The MIRROR: "Hold on a moment, while I click on the 'Share' button."
The Observer: "I like this look on me, I could pass for a queen."
The MIRROR: "Ouch! That was a very '#harsh tag', hurts the very office."
Two people approached the 'Magic Mirror'. It would be their benefactor for the day, if they came correctly.
The first one said;
"I know you must like to watch yourself all day, since you are the mirror. But I want you to watch me now and forget yourself, for some time. The mirror got angry, shattered into innumerable pieces and cut them away quick and far.
The second person came up to the mirror, which was back to normal and its original state. "I would watch you all day, dear mirror. For in doing that, I am better prepared to face the world."
The mirror smiled and shrunk into a smaller size. "Then carry me with you, that the world may never forget your face."
ME: 'Mirror Mirror' on the wall, after all these years. I see the natural lift, won't give up. It's untouched and unmoved 👌 Almost, like a throw back picture 😉
THE MIRROR: My lens was cracked yesterday, after you threw a shoe👠 at me because you disapproved of your reflection. Today the cracks and fragments on my surface, causes the rays to refract and give you an illusion lift.
ME: 😵!!! Stuff is flying all over the place 👢👟👡....
Coming next....