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The Inglorious BASTARDS! (Incorrigible Impostors)

Writer's picture: Chioma OnwudiweChioma Onwudiwe

"I have not spoken in the dark, nor whispered in concealment. Behold the utterance, in open light...." Chioma Onwudiwe #nobloodonmyhands

I have been hearing a lot lately, about destiny and the pursuit of it. The burden of a call, the realization of a dream. And of course the pleasures or sometimes, the painstaking realization of purpose. It is not a new topic, nor is it a breaking trend. We have just become more aware of the structure, direction and focus it can provide for our lives. Some of us have always known of it, some are just sensing its effect and others are already walking in it. Or in most cases, already running it out. However, I heard a definition of purpose or destiny if you may, recently. That resonated immensely with me. It was along the lines of: ‘If something or situation, disturbed or bothered you a lot. Probably more than it did anyone else around you. Then maybe, just maybe you were born to do something about it.’

Before I continue on this trail and tangent, may I suggest that this is not a case for the green or evil-eyed. This is not a precipice for the discontented, chronically bitter or envious lot. I am talking about a common good. Something bothers you greatly, that negatively and sometimes devastatingly affects you and others. Injustice for example, or oppression. Defrauding and the likes of it. Then one day you wake up and find that not only have you been a victim. But that you also have the tools to become aware of the problem. And then possibly liberate yourself, as well as others. I am not on about a superman or wonder woman syndrome. Just having that simple knowing and resolve. That this very day, you might be the one who won’t agree to be sent to the back of the bus.

On that note, I detest bullies, ingrates and double-faced scam artist, to name only a few. It irks me even more, if they are living a double life and proudly getting away with it. In fact, it drives me up the wall. Where I might do leg splits midair, spin sideways and then land on my head. How in the world I missed RIO 2016, beats me. I would have been a good one for any team. For real, since everything I touch succeeds or turns to gold…. (Smiley face).

So on a more serious note, the structure that I am about to lay on you. Was or were inspired by true events. In a few short sentences, an evil and menacing league. That I will venture to call ‘The Network’. Though it is hardly an equal opportunity organization. Technically, you just have one ogre of a mastermind. A façade of a bile saturated spouse. An accomplice of near equal standing and his spouse too. His race and office accords him that privilege, above the rest. And then the other errand running men and women. Followers, who actually believe that their life, concerns and well-being is important to ‘The Network's key players. These supporters, are hapless, aimless and uninteresting foot soldiers. Who just like their leader, must kill, steal or destroy to be relevant.

It is these scoundrels, that have inspired the following work of art. Yet most importantly, it is also my utmost respect for those who honestly uphold and respect their callings and office. Especially those of a sensitive and eternal nature. They work hard and tirelessly, to bring a needed good and wholesomeness to an otherwise arduous life. Most times, their dedication may go unnoticed. Or worse, be heavily and wickedly shrouded and burdened by the aforementioned nauseating hoodlums. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you:

THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS (A Play):

The Backdrop: Fiery walls, curtains and ominous boulders. It is a place, where truth is never told and the torment won’t stop. Anguish and agony is prevalent, amidst eternal flames.

The CHARACTERS:

Belle: The name says (half of) it. The protagonist. She possesses ‘super-powers’, and a dose of humility. She will not bully, nor seek trouble for the sake of it. She is very much aware of the danger and/or effect, of unleashing her abilities without caution. She prefers to lay low, until….

The Wolf-sheep: Leader and mastermind of ‘the network’. He is supposedly married to Lopsided-lolo. But theirs is a farce and a long dismissed union. They hold it together, for the sake of the industry they invaded and for monetary gains. It is a false union so open, that three commuter trains going in the opposite direction. Can run right through it, without interruptions. A former and wretched farmer, Wolf-sheep envisaged a life of bright lights, money and fame. A deadly lust, void of any hard work, creativity, talent and/or a noble process.

Together with Lopsided-lolo; who is a full blown ritualist and witch. They find an easy and an unassuming target. Then they head off to the Big Apple. They are both armed with archetypal fables and tales. Stories spun as tall as sky scrapers. While concealing falsehoods, facades and eventual fatality. The Wolf-sheep has prepared for this charade, his whole life. Gaining a knowledge of two arms of the law, that would enable him navigate and avoid detection. He eventually, not only bites the hand that invites him and feeds him. He breaks it out and buries it in cold blood and without remorse.

The Peeping Tim (Or Tom) whichever you prefer to call him. Is married to a perpetually discontented Poker-face. They are both in close proximity to Wolf-sheep and ‘Loopy-lolo’. They both hate Belle with a passion, but for different reasons. Peeping T, is said to have obviously fallen of the wagon of a noble cause. Though he still claims to quote and promote good. He too has by consent, compliance and company. Slyly bitten the hand that opened doors for him. He secretly longs for and pursues a dirty dream. The evil boss’ periodic favors and monetary greasing, keeps him loyal to ‘the network’.

The SERVANTS: These consists of some scuttling gremlins. Who are made to think, or possibly assume they are worth more than a garbage bag. They will do anything for money. They are only lit on social media. And would spark anything, for a few ‘likes’ and comments.

One of the main ones is Trash-talker, the hateful and devilish uterus watcher. She is an oracle of misery, mischief and murder. She is always justsaying depravity. Shaped like a scattered strata herself, she must iron out the vile kinks of hatred etched on her face. She abhors Belle and it is consuming her very existence. She diligently thrives on dispensing lies and rumors. While concealing the desperate, debased and sad sham that is her life.

Acts I Scene I: The scene opens up, with The Wolf-sheep spying on Belle. He simultaneously reports to Peeping T, Trash-talker and the rest, about what he thinks he sees and hears. To be continued….

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