Word! Did you know that it is still Christmas, until it is New Year's eve? I did not think you would know. So I thought I should let you in, on the biggest kept secret. For centuries, it has been under wraps. Only periodically revealed, to those who would understand and who were also nice. You see, the slightest inkling of hostility, would send the secret right back into its hiding place. And we do not really want that, do we?
Therefore, on that note. Kudos to that lovely street, that has been playing my favorite Christmas tunes all week. I like you, music playing street. In fact, I like you a whole lot. So much so, that I was spotted walking back and forth. With no aim or direction, in sight. Gallivanting was I, to the tunes of merriment. Listening to soothing and inspiring melodies. Until I broke out into a hop, skip and a jig. Not necessarily in that order. However, my rhythm was impressive, syncing and on seasonal point.
Anyway not to digress from giving honor to whom or what it is due. Three thumbs up to you street, for sticking with a wholesome and ageless tradition. Defying the threats, of a villainous Grinch. How brave you are indeed. And four thumbs up for me, for sweetly complying with yuletide rules! And for my dance moves of course.
I don't mean to stray from the importance of the above discussion. But just out of curiosity, did anyone try stopping by yesterday? Well the reason I asked is, that sometime yesterday evening. I heard numerous shutters slamming shut and voices raised. Then all of a sudden, everything went quiet and then there was this shrill cry of pain. I meant to run out, to see what had happened. I really did, but unfortunately. I forgot how to turn the knob open, when I got to the door.
Between you and I, I think someone came back for more cupcakes. See; (GREAT EXPECTATIONS TOO) They probably forgot to follow the previous instructions, written on stone. Now they must have had their nose, swiped. It breaks my heart, it sure does. How rebellious these mortals can be, not the missing nose. They will grow another one in no time. Not to worry.
This story may not be related. Yet it reminds me of the couple, in front of me at the cash register yesterday. They were buying a sack load of Christmas decorations. I looked at my watch, as I pulled out my calendar. The day was about 72 hours past Christmas and the time was 3 days late. Were they from the deflated part of the globe? Or did they just step out of a time capsule? Or was this just a hidden ploy, to aggravate me. Looking at the sack of goodies, that still needed to be scanned. Chances were, I could be there till next Christmas. Then I would have to grab the sack from them. After they had paid for it of course.
So the question on the minds of the masses remains; were they three days late or one year early? I don't know, I can't answer that question now. Not while I am 3,000 or so Christmas ornaments, delayed in this line. However, in their defense or offence. Depending on how you look at it. Were they maybe preparing for what was about to come in a year? Or did they completely ignore, what just happened a couple of days earlier? We may never know. And they might never tell. Something to do with amendments. But I will tell, you know I will (smiley face).
Reminds me of the worst New Year of my life. And it will always hold that title, (hopefully) every time the year rings in. The itch of doom loomed over my head, the most part of December. And the happiness the month most often accords, was estranged from me. Joy had somehow also, without warning deluded me. I restlessly tried to tuck away, the dreaded and pervading thought that invaded every crevice of my sane mind. I knew exactly what I was thinking, but feared to think it nonetheless.
I knew for sure, what I had seen or was seeing. Yet I still wrestled, to un-see it. In my world, that vision was cursed. In my imagination, to ruminate along that train was forbidden. In my dreams, that was a rejected course of reverie.
Surely if I pushed my collective introspection hard enough and denied it long enough. Its chances of being a full blown reality, would have been punctured. And for full measure, maybe deferred. I had whined, warned and cajoled my subject of concern and utmost interest. Every decision and the consequence thereafter, would have me in the miserable mix. I argued with a gaping hole, having been gored through my breaking heart. I further supplied, for dramatic effect. There was no resistance or reprimand, from my subject. Somehow, with an unspoken surety. We were on the same page. Different hand writings howbeit. Adorned by varying notes, personal tones and unique styles. Yet nonetheless on the same page.
There comes a time when we must all face our demons, detours and destinies all alone. Dancing to a music, that we only can hear. Walking a path, that can only hold our footsteps. Racing against a time strained by our choices, or stalled by our decisions. Knowing that some 'cakes' were better off left, where we found them. They do not mean us well. They never did. Shrouded by a call or fate, that we alone can fulfill whether fractured or interrupted. I would then bow out, with the utmost respect to my subject and hero. Ultimately this was their race to finish. This was their moment of truth, their own face off time, to the enemy that destroyed for so long.
They had gotten to the root of it all. Uncovered a buried secret that bound so many for so long, including the writer. They would take a stand they mused courageously. A stand that might have been taken a long time ago. This would be their journey of reckoning. They would set every captive free from such hideous bondage. But alas, the 'binder and planter' was not ready to be exposed or to give up....
I will honor the one who faced off to decades of over grown weeds. Not just for himself and his, but for all within his sphere of influence. The heart of a true leader, without question. Weeds that crept in on assignment, from the very beginning. Then would eventually choke and sap, the very life of its host. Oh, the perils of ramming through a warning sign. The dangers of keeping the wrong company.
But for my subject's final race, I would faithfully hold court in the sidelines. And watch my hero stumble and roll with eyes closed. Unconsciously, making it to the finish line. A helpless state to behold, what was once a giant of reckoning and a pillar of integrity indeed. Yet unbeknownst to the dark causative agents, his moment of glory would burst out one more time.
I left my Christmas gifts in a pile untouched. Lest in unwrapping any, I might quickly unfold my impending tragedy. Maybe ignoring a lurking and inevitable disaster, would curb the intensity of its invasion. As images of what could and would be, roamed my mind. Thoughts of why it should not be, reeled in my head. It had been exactly a year, when I looked into my father's eyes. As I boarded that plane, back to New York City. And that clear and ever concise voice said: 'This is the last time you would see him alive.' 'No!!! 'Said I, as I proceeded to plunge my whole being into a state of denial. 'Never! Not so! Not me! Not again!'
How do you prepare for the thing you fear the most and hate the best? Like the after Christmas decoration buyers, do you stow it away till the right time comes? Or do you convince yourself you never bought it and then live through every other season, until you get to the right one. How do you postpone loss or file away pain? Put them in boxes marked 'later' and pull it out when the season comes. Who decides the season? Someone greater must know. For at the time it is needed, the grace to bear would be ready.
So that faithful day, though thousands of miles away. I got up at exactly the right time. And there on my knees, I prayed that if I cannot completely change the course. For another, that I loved dearly. I can surely delay, the arrow that is about to pierce my heart. Yes it was my heart and I had every right to protect it. So I knelt between life and death. Then with every ounce of love, hope and life in me, I pushed. I pushed back the darkness, that voraciously longed to devour. I pushed at the hopelessness of a sudden impact. I pushed at the insult of a body strewn, at a horrible scene. I pushed....
Yes, I will take any delay any day. For in just one fleeting second, I might have the last laugh. I am thankful for the time it accorded me to calm my hysterics, the delay that is. The time for those who needed it, to make things right or prepare for what might be. Yes darkness still snuck back in, to finish what it began. But not before light made it clear, that we were ready and unafraid. That the chimes of a celestial and choral welcome, would douse the pain in a broken body. And in retrospect, we won!
So today what must you face or deal with, before the New Year rolls in? What must be changed, dropped, completed or cherished? What should be corrected, accepted and adjusted? What?..... Get on with it. Its about time....
HAPPY NEW '2016' YEAR!!