It was a myriad of images that even 'The MONITORS' (world bestseller) could not pull off. Combining the endless chatter of that person behind me and the whirling network of maps in my throbbing head. I hoped and prayed that the three supposedly sane people ahead of me would remain just that way. You know sane as in drama free, if you must. I had had enough excitement in two hours to last me four lifetimes. I rubber-necked strenuously from my coveted fourth position, to make sure the next person in line would know exactly when to step forward. And then I twisted the same neck in its current state of elasticity, to answer the badgering questions coming from behind my neck. Some people sure never know when to stop.
"No I am not a belly dancer and no I was not in the Brooklyn festival..... Yes, I am sure I was not there. If I was there, I would know it...."
Oh dear.....!
Finally, there were almost two people in front of me. Almost because the person in front of the person in front of me (excuse the mouthful expression, or should I say fingerful) stepped back into the book aisle, to peruse leisurely. No you did not just vacate precious time and space, I thought rather viciously to myself. Well, so glad you stepped away anyhow because now I can get to the front as quickly as I desperately need to. You cannot eat your cake and have it you know. Now you lost your place in line and we are not letting you back in. There is just no time for slackers! Bye now, you have to start from the back of the queue all over again. The winner takes it all I thought triumphantly as I glared at the oblivious slacker. Unfortunately, that is not how it transpired in actuality. I mean there was no winner, or at least I was not the winner. Sigh.
Eerily though, as if the slacker had heard my thoughts. I may have thought them out loud, I don't remember. Or maybe just maybe, my mind was so stressed that it faultily and loudly vocalized every secret and mean reflection. We may never really know exactly what happened on that line that fateful day. But this much was evident for all to see. Slacker man strolled back to his original place in line, turned back with an exaggerated sway and smiled at no one in particular. It was a disheartening spectacle that could have been pulled from a decrepit local pageant. I was livid and seeing the color red. Oh, how I wished it would have been purple. Here the terminator was back in line as he never even promised to be and he wanted us all or maybe just me to see his jubilant entry. I strove to endure one more abuse that afternoon. As I simultaneously clamped my hands to my ears to ward of Rocky's incessant interrogation.
There I was in front of the librarian at last. Strangely enough, all I got was a sinking feeling of disappointing deja vu. My pain-filled ordeal was nowhere near its finish-line. For after I had regaled him with my lost and found tales and even made him promise to look out for grandma-three-baskets and her broken hip. He hurriedly went on to google to search for my item store address and location. Really, did I not just explain that I had already done that on my cell-phone? You know searched the same google and all its entwined, tangled and inter-linked maps. Was it possible that maybe just maybe after 19yrs, 11yrs or even 4yrs of taking the same route to work, someone might have noticed my item store in all its formidability? I mentally clicked him off, as he excitedly perused moving arrows and shifting city blocks on his desk-top computer screen. There had to be another way I thought wildly, as I struggled to blank out the librarian's victorious announcement of:...... You guessed it, avenue A and the lost ark all over again.
We (you and I) now knew from experience, that the only thing in avenue A was the alphabet itself. However, I thanked him profusely as I clasped my handbag nervously for the umpteenth time. That extravagant expression of gratitude was either the real deal or the phenomenal actress making for a cordial exit. Oh, one more thing. Before I left, I did ask the helpful gentleman behind the desk. If Christopher left any archival maps behind? You know before that terrible accident he had. "Did who leave what??" He asked me in utter confusion. "Never mind," said I as I re-alighted the scorching pavements to continue my futile search. My descent only took place however, after I had looked to the left and the right for the unwanted return of the demolition teen. Since the coast appeared clear and safe, I commenced my limping and journey to nowhere.
No sooner had I hit street level, than a man and a woman rushed towards me. They were waving in their hands, what appeared to be a large white flag of surrender. Ladies and gentlemen of the reading panel, do meet participants (F). They were a touring couple from that beautiful country near the Amazon. They had been lost for two hours and I fought the urge to say to them "welcome to my endless roaming world". I dared not have said that, simply because I should know the city better no? Me getting lost after all these growing years, does not a fascinating telenovela make. The (F) tourist couple had a map ready in hand (that was what had looked like a flag from afar). Infact when they opened the map to its entirety, it all but covered the entire city block. Talk of being prepared for the Big Apple. Now I was feeling pretty stupid. Instead of looking for the archives of urban distribution, I should have bought myself a map that would wrap around me and my equally clueless neighbours.
I made to excuse myself from the enthusiastic couple and their massively daunting map, but felt compelled to stay by their warmth and the trusting look they gave me. I must have had that confident NewYorker look blazooned across my forehead. With red-rimmed exhausted eyes to boot. I promised myself I would not put a damper on their vacation, by displaying my ignorance as to where I was even standing at the moment. So off to the map I suggested we all go, together we would break this alphabetic code (pun intended). Afterall, three heads should be better than two heads or a solo head at that. I showed them which section of the map to search for their location, as I discreetly eyed the section that might habour the answer to my destination problems. We were so engrossed in our map maze on the sidewalk, that other pedestrians had to swerve a good 90 degrees to avoid being engulfed in the mammoth spread.
The lovely couple found what they were looking for and thanked me for my help. Truth is they really helped themselves, as I merely supervised the navigation not without distraction of course. And might I add that I did grace them with my sweet presence and unique charm. I sent them off eventually, with secret tips of where and how to get the most and best of the city. They said they were shocked to see a NewYorker taking the time to be friendly and helpful. I thought rather silently this time. If I was not so lost, I too might have scurried right past. "Obrigada," said they as they pranced off happily. Yeah, abracadabra to you too was my sunny reply. It sure would take more than magic to lead me home from this lost place.
To be continued.