And I am writing this bonus feature because....
1. I am secretly instigating more labor for labor day.
2. I am feeling quite fly and elated
3. I am doing a 'two for one' back to school sale
4. Christmas is right around the corner
5. All of the above
Send in the right answer and you are sure to get the gift of a lifetime. But till then allow me to regale the world of my recent predicament. I am at this moment, stealing glances at my six swollen toes as we speak. Actually, as I write and you eventually get to read. The affected toes are not in any particular order might I add. There are ample traumatized appendages for each foot. This way, there will be no discriminatory protest between my feet. Unless of course you count the toe that seems to be reversing and reverberating....
Anyway enough of the anatomical agony of my lower extremities. What really prompted this article was not just my appreciation of my avid and precious readers (Hence the 'two for one' sale). Although that would be a huge and significant part of it. But the real inspiration came from my unrelenting quest for the correct definition of truth. The absolute truth, the derived truth or the fragmented versions of the truth. If I lost you this second, try and trace your way back to the article. Its crucial that you do this on your own. As this is afterall, a story about being lost and found.
Well the saga I am about to relate to you my kind audience, happened on Monday. You know two days ago, if you count backwards from today. But the concept that produced the saga was actually born about two weeks ago (no time to count backwards, lets keep it moving). So there is this item, that I have been collecting for quite some time now. I would love to tell you what the item is at this time, but there is an impending problem with that line of action. You see, the item of which I speak is becoming endangered. Therefore, it is on the verge of being plunged from 'collectors item' status to 'public item' ridicule. So please bear with me today, as I seal my lips or tape my fingers together. For the sole purpose of restricting my mode of world wide web exposure and distribution of a near extinct item. Still if you must know the identity of the item, try me again just before Christmas (that word again!).
However, the issue is not the item. Hardly is it ever, the item is quite harmless. The real topic of my rambling and our focus is what happened on Monday. So for the duration of this study, I will label all the participants with an alphabet. This will help us get through the story unscathed by confusion. Alphabets will also help us see the picture clearer, or better still understand the words better. Since I won't be drawing today or tomorrow and definitely not the day after it. Understanding my words would have to suffice. These participants were in one way or another 'half-truth-tellers' and/or 'fragmented truth-tellers'.
The first culprit/participant was A, whom I met at a store that sold the item. After an empty chit-chat session about nothing while waiting on line, A tells me there is another store in the East Village that carries a more vintage version of the item. His description of the location was thus; "It is closer to avenue A," (no pun intended). Participant A was obviously hooked on the letter A!
So for good measure and in preparation of my item hunt, I 'googled' the store location. I came up with an address on 9th Street only. No cross streets or avenues were volunteered by the google. No worries I thought, it might be on 9th Street and avenue A. Just mesh the ideas of a total stranger and a search engine, then voila! You have arrived.
Might I go ahead and confide in you, that the 'Alphabet City' gives me the creeps most times. It might be whiplash from getting lost over there, for two whole days sometime ago. I choose however, to forget that scenario for now. Anyways, so come Monday and I am happily, purposefully and confidently traipsing to my item location. For anyone who knows, south of East 14th Street becomes a maze of zig-zagging and criss-crossing roads. Where Fifth Avenue becomes Broadway and Broadway goes dancing. So much so, that even some of the residents do not know where they are, or where they are headed. This kind of merry-go-round, does make me very dizzy and tired. So now, what should have been a 15 minutes brisk walk. Becomes a frenzied press conference with rush-hour traffic to booth. Talk about walking around the mountain with a microphone hanging on your neck!
I get to the destination street and it divides into four different intersections before my eyes. It was either that or my pupils were dilated twice. Even Moses had it easy at the Red Sea. So I go ahead, set up camp and began polling the dashing crowd. Hey, what's a 'dynamic diva' to do in such a situation? They were the residents, workers, visitors, amblers, gallivantors and even the clueless walkway obstructing tourists. For most of them, I did not bother to record their contributions. Those were the ones that when asked for directions, spun around twice with their head in the air and finger pointing forward (wherever that is ) and said: "I am so sorry, I have no idea." Phew.. I am so sorry too, that you have been lost a long time.
I am however grateful though, that they were all willing to talk to me and my tired braids. Of course, there were those that wanted to talk about anything else but directions. I strove as much as possible, to maintain the focus and stay on direction course. And thankfully, a few complied with my rigid and principled syllabus. Here is the breakdown of the qualifiers.
B with the orange hair and nose ring, said he knew the store. It was right there, a sharp turn from the block with Mcdonalds ( he pointed).
C's beautiful grey hair was so well brushed, it gleamed in the cloud shaded sunlight. She said the store had been there for over 40yrs, it was hard to miss. "Walk straight and make a turn on the left." Said she pointing.
D's outfit was so impeccably put together, her blouse matched the leash on her yorkshire terrier. She believed the store was in an alternate street than the one I was headed to and that google had suggested. Take note search master, the street people are giving you a run for your money.
E was a student, who was sure the store was out of business due to unaffordable high rent costs. I argued him to the ground, because google still had the address and navigation to the location! He bid me adieu, lecture was in a few minutes. But he did say that I had a big mouth for someone so pretty. Yeah whatever.....
Now just as I was about to loosen my dangling and sun scorched braids in frustration, I saw the sign.....
To be continued.