"I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that's how I operate my life."
Oprah Winfrey
"Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected."
Steve Jobs
To all those who choose to recognize and honor my worth, bravely unrestricted by where I am now, the confines of what I look like or where society expects me to be. I humbly salute your integrity; Chioma Onwudiwe
I was tending to a dear friend's tales of discriminatory woe. They were valid and I could identify with some. And with those I could not identify, I kept it tucked away in the closet of my mind knowing that it could happen to me. As we munched on "hors d'oeuvres" and sipped on coffee so strong it could lift the Empire State Building. I broke the news to my now fragile and distraught friend that I was expecting another friend also. She nodded absent-mindedly as she concentrated on the bites on her plate. They were that good (the bites i.e.), until my other guest arrived. My already sitting friend almost spat the food in her mouth back onto the plate, as she recoiled like a scorched snake and squirmed like a wounded animal from both of us. The pained look in her eyes gave way to disgust and an inescapable tinge of mistrust. Still I was undeterred, as I launched uninvitedly into "The talk'.
I had learnt the hard way in life, to appreciate those who make it worth their while to honestly acknowledge and reach out to me. The color or density of their blood meant absolutely nothing to me. I could not trump their kindness and help because they did not belong.... Also on the other hand I could not promote wrong acts because they belonged... I believed honor should be given to whom it was due not to whom felt entitled to it.
I am not sure exactly when this concept started to take root in my life. Maybe it was watching my father provide employment to qualified medical personnel from his own country to countries as far as Asia or not so far as Europe. The operative word here being 'qualified'. If they applied for it and were the right candidates, he gave it to them. Sure enough he had taken on the welfare of a related clan under his wings, but his influence was reached farther than his idenity and culture could stifle. Being under his informal tutelage, showed me that people could be identified by how they lived and what they produced from that life. Race, Religion, Geography and/or Economic status to name the main factors were only subjective by-products. In other words or in summary, people should be held accountable for the content of their character. And not automatically exonerated when perceived as 'superior'.
Another mode of enlightenment, may have been my globe-trotting. There was really no rhyme or reason other than I may have been a girl on the run. No not running from the law, but running from a whole lot of pain. My voyage was definitely not as scenematic as Gullivers and unlike Columbus, I never discovered anything you don't already know. Par exemple, all people will bleed blood if you cut them deep enough. In most of those places, there were times when I was in the midst of people who looked nothing like me. But bless their hearts, most never cast me away for that reason. As a kid lost and confused, there was always a grandmother to visit me in the hospital with a bowl of soup. There was the mother who provided shelter along side her kids. And the latest, my lovely green-eyed angel who took it upon herself to fret over me last weekend. The list would go on if we had time and space, but I perceive that we do not (smiles).
Along the way of meeting angels that exude kindness and sweetness, you will encounter demons bent on destruction in life. Either way we will be careful not to generalize and make the innocent pay for the deeds of the guilty because they look a certain way. Both elements of good and evil are represented in every race, gender, status and location. When we honor and support what is good and positive, it eventually comes back to us. As aforementioned, this blog is dedicated to people of truth, integrity, loyalty and good old kindness. People who moved beyond barrier and fear of ostracization and did what was right. May they always find someone to reach out to them and theirs also.
I told my friend that much over a steaming plate of steak and mashed potatoes. She could not just judge our guest without a basis (having just met her), generally reject her because of what she looked like or dismiss her because of someone else's foolishness. In reverse, she could also not receive someone because she felt inferior to them, or dismiss them on the grounds of feeling superior!
I admit it was a lot to swallow over juicy and glazed meat, but we all emerged the better for it. I had to borrow from Dr. Kings missive once again; "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Lunch surprisingly went well and dessert was scrumptious. Nothing calms the nerves like a good old chunk of ice-cream. And my two guests? They went on to become fast friends. I smiled gleefully as I ripped up the building emergency exit map. I had taken the time to print that out (the map), in lieu of 'world war six' breaking out. The value placed on my life was matchless. It was imperative that I escaped whatever ordeal might have erupted, had my placations gone south. I would exit just in time to give the press my version of what may have happened in that restaurant. All these as I conveniently ommited the fact that the whole meeting was my idea. The success of that stunt made me so giddy, that I went round the revolving door five times (holding up traffic), before finally embarking on the streets. Just another reason for these strange and rebellious Homosapiens to call me crazy.
As for me, I will keep building on my excellence. I know people of the same calibre would recognize and appreciate it.
Pay that thought forward will ya'?
#buzz-feeder
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