"As I lay me down, heaven hear me now. I'm lost without a cause. After giving it my all..."
Whitney Houston (I Look to YOU)
It was so good having my close friends in the audience that performance night. Not only for their unadulterated and unwavering support, but also for their neccessary feed back. Strangely enough, I did not have the jitters or too many nerves gone astray that evening. I just felt calm. I would not say that I had prepared as much as I had hoped. But when it was time to step up on stage and into the spot light to perform, you did just that. There was no time to hold up the curtain...
My friends had a great time, they were glad they came. I felt the earlier tension in my chest dissipated and released. Life was good, I was moving on. Being in my element was the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. What was naturally gifted inside of me had found an outlet. As I prepared to go to sleep later that night, I felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding wash all over me suddenly. Where on earth did that come from and why? I thought to myself. Then it hit me. As a natural and professional Artist, I had put myself into my work. "An authentic Artist's most powerful and effective medium, is the very essence of who they are." Chioma Onwudiwe 2014
I had been vulnerable in my communication. A piece of me had gone out to the audience. Now there was a gaping whole in my very being. It could get bigger and deeper if I did not get a refill. It had the capability to engulf me within moments. If I did not do something about it.
I dropped to my knees in utter compassion and amazement. Compassion for anyone who would have to go through this 'phenomenon' alone and without an unwavering SOURCE for replenishment. And then amazement at the sheer weight and responsibility that came with my talents...
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